If their families oppose the divorce, they may be left with no place to go and no means of supporting themselves and their children. The divorce taboo has particularly severe consequences for women who have no financial resources of their own. In conservative families, a divorced woman is often viewed as pariah or harbinger of bad luck.

Sometimes, they stop receiving invitations to family functions, and when they do attend, they’re made a target of relatives’ shaming. Divorcees often are isolated from their families, an object of mingled pity and disdain. While parents and siblings might show sympathy over an unhappy marriage, divorce is often considered beyond the pale. Husbands and wives are forced by social pressure originating 8,000 miles away to stay in emotionally unhealthy and abusive relationships. Chitra’s story, and the emotional suffering of other South Asian men and women whom I help as a counselor, show why those numbers are so concerning.